An Uncertain Recovery
by DreamingByDay
Summary: Padme, Anakin, and ObiWan deal with the aftermath of the battle of Geonosis and the beginning of the Clone Wars.


Obi-Wan Kenobi quietly pushed open the door of the small hospital room in the Jedi Temple's med clinic. The faint light from the lone lamp in the corner barely illuminated the two figures already in the room, neither of whom even looked up when Obi-Wan entered. Instead, the slim, delicate woman remained sitting next to the young man lying in the hospital bed. She bent over him, whispering something and stroking his face as she perched on the side of the bed. Her deep brown eyes reflected intense worry and lack of sleep, her long, silky hair fell in haphazard tangled curls down her back, and she still wore the bloodied, ripped flight suit she had changed into on Tatooine over five days ago, before the terrible battle of Geonosis. Before the beginning of the war.

"Senator Amidala," Obi-Wan began softly. The young woman started before turning regally to the bearded Jedi Master. "Don't you think you should get some rest?"

Padmé greeted this question with a stony glare. Anakin called it her "politician look," Obi-Wan noted wryly. But Anakin didn't notice the tense exchange. Obi-Wan's Padawan learner lay motionless in the bed, his good hand resting on Padmé's lap. He self-consciously kept his other hand, his new mechanical hand of metal and wire, hidden under the sheets.

"Senator, please. I promise you, he'll be perfectly fine. Just let me talk to him."

Padmé nodded slightly, still managing to look authoritative and powerful despite the welts on her bare back and the bruises marring her fair skin. She did not move from the edge of the bed.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, I meant, can I talk to him _alone_?"

Her eyes met his. She looked so exhausted, Obi-Wan thought. "Senator, you need to sleep. Please."

"He needs my help right now." She pulled the blankets closer around Anakin, who stirred and mumbled inaudibly.

"He doesn't need to be coddled. He lost his arm through his own rashness, and he needs to own up to that. Trust me, Senator. I know what he's been through, and I know he'll get over it."

Padmé's stony glare turned to ice. "You have no idea what he's been through. You weren't on Tatooine." With that, she stormed out of the room, not deigning to give Obi-Wan so much as a parting glance.

Obi-Wan watched her leave, his mouth half-open in perplexed astonishment. The refined Senator had never acted like this before. What had gotten into her? What _had_ happened on Tatooine?

The Jedi Master sighed, then walked over to his fitfully-sleeping apprentice and gently shook him awake. "Anakin, time to get up. You're perfectly rested by now. Come on."

Anakin's long eyelashes fluttered as he slowly opened his azure eyes, which shone with unspoken pain and unbearable loss.

Obi-Wan shook his head in pure confusion. "Ani, what in the name of the Force is the matter?"

Incredulous, Anakin stared at him for a long while before weakly sitting up. "Hmm, I don't know," he said sarcastically. "But it could have something to do with the fact that I no longer have an arm. And don't call me Ani."

"Your lovely Senator calls you that," Obi-Wan shot back.

"She's different." Anakin's clouded face brightened slightly at the mention of Padmé. "She actually cares about me."

"And you think I don't? Anakin, you need to tell me what's wrong, or I can't help you."

"I already told you."

"No, you didn't. This isn't about your arm. I can tell."

"Oh, so you know how I feel now all of a sudden? That's a change." Anakin glared sullenly at his Master.

Obi-Wan took a few deep breaths, internally willing himself to have patience. "I know you're upset about something. I know something horrible happened to you before you came to Geonosis. And I know you were on Tatooine – blatantly disobeying orders, might I add. If the Council finds out about your defiance, Anakin, and you don't have a good reason for leaving Naboo, you could be kicked out of the Jedi Order. Obedience is necessary to preserve unity. Haven't we been through this before? You must-"

"Shut up, Obi-Wan. Just shut up."

"Anakin Skywalker!" Obi-Wan gaped at the young man. This wasn't like him at all. Sure, Anakin wasn't the most obedient, Master-pleasing of Padawans, and Obi-Wan knew that intense emotions often tormented his apprentice – but Anakin was never this unpredictable. Usually his anger had a reason, and underneath his characteristic negative, self-deprecating mood lay an incredible sensitivity to the living Force. Rarely did Anakin open that sensitivity up to his Master, and such occasions were becoming rarer as Anakin grew older, but Obi-Wan could still sense the conflicted, needy child beneath the adult Anakin's strong, independent guise.

"Anakin, what happened? Why were you on Tatooine?" Obi-Wan stared hard at his apprentice until the young man became uncomfortable and looked away.

"I was having dreams about my mother again," he mumbled.

Obi-Wan sighed. "They're just nightmares, Anakin. They're not real."

"Oh, really? So I suppose it was just a coincidence that she was captured by Tusken Raiders?" Anakin's eyes glowed furiously.

Obi-Wan started slightly. "How do you know that for sure?"

"Because we went there." Anakin picked up a pillow and tossed it angrily against the far wall.

"We?" By now Obi-Wan knew perfectly well where this was going, of course, but he also knew that the only way his Padawan could work through what he was feeling was to vocalize his emotions.

"Me and Padmé." He paused, then added quietly, "And now she's dead."

"Your mother?"

"No, Padmé!" Anakin shot back, his tone bitter with a sarcasm that failed to completely hide his sadness. He sat motionless and tense, not looking at his Master. Slowly he clenched and unclenched his new mechanical hand, wishing that the pain of his battle injuries could somehow erase the pain in his heart. "I tried to save her," he whispered, almost to himself. "I _should_ have saved her."

"Anakin, there was nothing you could have done." Obi-Wan attempted to comfort the distraught young man. "She was already dead."

"No." Anakin shook his sandy brown head. "No. She died in my arms."

"Oh, Ani." Obi-Wan's eyes suddenly filled with unbidden tears. How much would his friend have to suffer before he fulfilled his destiny? Obi-Wan reached out to put his arm around Anakin, but the Padawan drew back.

"Leave me alone," Anakin ordered, his voice harsh and choked. "I don't want your sympathy, and I _really_ don't want your lectures on detachment."

"Anakin, _what_ is wrong?"

"Didn't I just tell you? Then again, I suppose you can't understand, seeing as you've never lost anyone you loved. You don't even know what love is."

Obi-Wan bit his lip and remained silent until Anakin realized his mistake.

"Well, Qui-Gon…but that's different," the young man insisted lamely. "He wasn't your parent."

"No. He was more," Obi-Wan stated simply. "But I've learned to deal with that loss."

"Aren't you the perfect little Jedi?" Anakin stood up suddenly, violently slamming his feet onto the floor.

"Anakin, why are you acting like this? What did you do?"

The question caught Anakin by surprise. "I…I killed them," he stammered, his knees buckling weakly. "All of them. The men, the women, the children-" His voice broke off suddenly, and he swayed back and forth before collapsing.

Obi-Wan caught him before he hit the floor, and for a long time the two just stood there, neither sure how to react. Anakin finally stopped trying to blink back his tears, and to Obi-Wan's astonishment, the young man started to sob quietly, shaking violently as Obi-Wan cradled him in his arms.

Finally, Anakin pulled away and straightened, wiping his deep blue eyes. He looked cautiously at his Master. "I guess you'll have to report me to the Council."

Obi-Wan hesitated. "I don't think you need another Council hearing," he replied at last.

Anakin's heart lifted slightly. When the door to the hospital room opened and Padmé Amidala, now dressed in a clean purple dress that clung gently to her flawless figure, entered the small room and gave Anakin a tender smile that spoke more than any voiced profession of love, Anakin's heart soared even higher.

"I'm returning to Naboo tonight," the young Senator informed the two Jedi. "I just wanted to say goodbye."

Obi-Wan shook her hand. "Be careful, Senator Amidala. And may the Force be with you."

Anakin and Padmé locked eyes, each trying to say without words all that they were forbidden to speak.

"I don't know when I'll be returning," Padmé said, keeping her voice steady and calm. Her wide brown eyes lingered on Anakin, soundlessly voicing her finishing thought of "I don't know when we'll see each other again." Padmé gently took Anakin's mechanical hand and wrapped it in her two flesh ones before moving away slowly, her dress flowing behind her. At the door she turned back, glancing longingly at Anakin one last time.

"Padmé!" he suddenly blurted out. Obi-Wan looked between the two young adults, noting the glow in Padmé's chocolate eyes reflected in Anakin's suddenly-lit face. In the presence of Padmé, the Jedi Master realized, the shadow over his Padawan's torn heart drifted away.

Padmé still stood in the doorway, waiting for Anakin to speak, so desperately wanting him to say the words she knew he could never speak in the presence of his Master. An uncomfortable silence hung over the three until at last, Obi-Wan spoke.

"Anakin," he said slowly, unsure of why he was saying this. "Why don't you escort Senator Amidala home?"

The young man's lake-blue eyes brightened as he gaped in disbelief at his Master. "What?"

"Go on. You need to get your mind off things. If you stay here, you'll drive yourself crazy."

Anakin didn't need to be told twice. Pulling on his shirt and grabbing up his jet-black cloak, he quickly took Padmé's arm and led her away towards the hangar bay.

Obi-Wan watched the couple depart, their heads bent close together. Just before they disappeared around a corner, Padmé leaned close and whispered something in Anakin's ear, causing the Padawan to burst into laughter and pull the young woman close to him in a tight embrace.

At least Padmé would cheer Anakin up, Obi-Wan thought. Still, knowing Anakin's headstrong tendencies towards rashness as well as his obvious feelings for the Senator from Naboo, the Jedi Master could not help but wonder whether he had just made a giant mistake.


End file.
